My Pretty Angel... [13+] a story about a woman who comes to appreciate the things she has |
HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" First Impressions: I can see how the song inspired the story! You used quite a few elements - the wreck, obviously, and the rain, the police knocking on the girlfriend’s door in the middle of the night. It all worked very well in this tale where you expanded on all of those things and made it easy for the readers to relate to them. The main character did brilliantly when she came across the wreck and the injured guy, and without her, he most likely would have died. He recognised this too, and he called her his angel because, to him, she was. She, in return, suddenly understands what is important in life, because it could all be taken away so quickly. I liked how the tale started with her just driving around after a fight, which she can later barely remember. For a moment, I thought she would be the one who had the accident because she might be distracted, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, she got the chance to save someone’s life and in the process learn an important message about life. She also did well when she accompanied him to the hospital in the ambulance. She didn’t need to do that, but it was nice and it told the readers a lot about her. Suggestions: I only noticed on small error: Once at the hospital, he was into the emergency room There seemed to be a word missing. “He was taken into the emergency room”, maybe? Or “wheeled”? In the next sentence, you said they rolled him to the elevators, to take him to the surgical floor so you need a different word that won’t be repetitive. Final Thoughts: I loved the last line. It summed up the story beautifully, and it was a great image as well. Actually, the whole last paragraph was very well done, when she realised that she didn’t drive down that particular road by chance that day. We all tend to forget at times what is really important to us, and the main character in this story was lucky enough to get a reminder before something terrible could happen to her. A good story! ** Image ID #2154080 Unavailable ** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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