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Review #4770757
Viewing a review of:
 Margaret Open in new Window. [13+]
Margaret invites some guests
by noj Author Icon
Review of Margaret  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

That was truly terrifying. What began as a perfectly normal and pleasant dinner party soon turned into something more sinister. At first, I thought perhaps Margaret could see the future, and the events that scared her so, like the fire at the school, were things that were going to happen. After the first ‘vision’ I wondered if she would be able to warn people and convince them that they needed to take her seriously, but then it became clear that they were memories of events that had already happened. Margaret’s memory played tricks on her, and she couldn’t remember what had happened until someone told her. And then it turned out that it was actually worse than that and the whole story was only happening in her head while she was lying in a hospital ward on medication. To round the whole terrifying experience off, she soon started to think about the dinner party again, seemingly stuck in this loop of half-remembered memories.

It seemed like this wasn’t dementia but a condition brought about by trauma. Both of her memories were enough to push her over the edge, and her mind couldn’t cope with them. At least there was a pleasant part to it as well - she remembered having a nice time with her friends, and she had a caring son who comforted her, if only in her memories. It was a shame that she had to go through the horrible memories as well though before she could relive the pleasant parts.


*PenG* Suggestions:

I would recommend increasing the font size. The WdC default is quite small to read on a screen, but it actually looks like you went down a size which made me increase the screen a couple of times to make it easier to read.

I also think it would be a good idea to choose a few genres other than ‘Other’ to tell the readers what kind of story they can expect. ‘Dark’ or ‘Drama’ might be appropriate, or perhaps ‘Medical’ or ‘Health’, and ‘Horror/Scary’. There are probably other options as well so I would suggest having a look and choosing three that you find most appropriate.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I liked the descriptions at the beginning. You made it sound like the main character and her friends had a lovely time, and without knowing where the story would be going, the details worked well to paint a nice picture. It was good to know that Margaret kept returning to this part of her memories before she was haunted by the bad ones. I think this was a very good story!




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