WHEN DARE + DOUBLE-DARE = FIRE [E] Enjoy the drama, mystery and suspense with a slight twist. |
HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" First Impressions: I was really glad that you said this story was fiction! It went in a very unexpected direction - from the title, I thought this was going to be a light-hearted, humorous tale. It reminded me of stories about teenage mischief, where some adventure or other went wrong and in the end, everyone laughed about it. I should have paid attention to the genres… I suppose there was some adventure, and it started quite innocently with three teenage boys experimenting and having fun, but it quickly got out of hand. I wasn’t sure exactly how it went as far as it did. After the first time they set something on fire, they were afraid of the repercussions and ran away, which made sense, but then they carried on burning things. I don’t think it was very clear why they didn’t stop and simply hid, but perhaps I missed something. Suggestions: The only suggestion I have is regarding the POV shifts. You told the story from the POV of one of the police officers and one of the three boys, but it wasn’t always clear whose head the readers were supposed to be in. I would recommend setting off the different narrators a bit better, perhaps with a star or something between the paragraphs to alert the readers that there will be a change, and making sure there are no mixed paragraphs or sections. There were a couple of occasions when I thought one person was narrating but then it turned out to be the other one, and it got a bit confusing. Final Thoughts: I liked that the story had a happy ending. It was clear from the start that they wouldn’t get shot right there, but I still expected them to go to prison for a long time. It was a nice surprise to find that they learned their lesson, and more than that, passed on what they learned to young people so they wouldn’t make the same mistake. You mentioned a slight twist in the description so I was looking out for something in the last few paragraphs, but I must have missed it. Regardless of that, I thought this was a good story and I enjoyed the read. ** Image ID #2153781 Unavailable ** My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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