Hi Xarthin,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of anxiety. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering what if their is anything Benny can do to handle his problems. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a man who lives with a myriad of problems he seeks to find a way out of. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1)Eight-time zones-The hyphen is not necessary here.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.