Hi Joy,

This is a wonderful story. Tone is filled with love and pain. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if this man is really over his old love. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a man who is struggling with the memory of his old love and how he lost her. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1)"Hold me darling, for a little while.-This is a piece of dialogue and should end with quotation marks.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.