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Review #4774767
Viewing a review of:
 a seat with insomnia Open in new Window. [E]
misery is tired
by vapid Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings,

A moody and fascinating poem we have here, packed with creative metaphors and dreariness expressing the deep frustration that comes with insomnia. I love music, and I have a tendency to look at poetry through the lens of songwriting and lyrics. This feels like a song which would have a super spooky music video. Your rhymes carry it along well without being trite, and the conversational meter is free flowing, keeping us engaged with a balance of long and short lines.

The theme is darkly exaggerated, and we feel the pressing tension building up until the reference to Lazarus and the final declaration of nonexistence. Which makes one think, did Lazarus really appreciate being resurrected back to this dreary life of drudgery and sickness and hunger, knowing he’d die again anyway? Now there’s a thought to consider while lying awake at night.

The opening draws us in quickly and memorably, and overall this is an excellent poem. I don’t have anything to suggest for changes; I’m usually quite easygoing and laidback with reviewing poetry. I like to go by instinct rather than fussing over syllables or metric structure.

I would recommend you add a line count so you can qualify for entry into "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. or "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window.… I think it’s well worth a try at either of those.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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