Hello, ridinghhood-p.boutilier,

Here is a review for your "I leave" .

Comments and Observations:

What a beauty! And this poem about 14 years old with a gentle reflective tone. I wonder how I missed seeing it before, since I loved the delicacy of it as well as its suggestion of fragility and flight with the metaphor of small birds. Flight from what? I asked myself as I read it. But then some things can remain hinted at or unsaid in poems like this one.

The images you present are exquisite, such as "Beneath the strawberry moon" and "small birds trembling in my hand." Then, the nest of "moss, twigs, regrets." Such powerful symbolism in your images all around! I am wondering if the nest and the flight idea mean a departure from the past or regrets of some kind toward something better and freer.

I have no real suggestions, but just maybe the shift between unrelated images such as between the moon and the birds is a bit sudden. Maybe a clearer link between two unrelated images would make the poem smoother, but not that it isn't smooth enough as it is. Any change is up to you, here.

Line breaks, structure, word choices, and the depth in the poem look fine to me. All in all, you have here a reflective poem that is delicate with its use of metaphor and beautiful images. I liked it very much.

Best wishes with your work.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .