Hello, Marie ,

Here is a review for your "Dead End" . but first, Welcome to Writing.com. It is so nice to see, among us, a good poet like you.

Comments and Observations:

This is a very personal, yet relatable poem as it captures your dream's intensity and with a fleeting nature. I could easily feel the bittersweet longing while waking up from a beautiful dream. The sense of loss upon waking after the tenderness of the dream is beautiful and sad at the same time.

From my point of view, your overall theme has to do with the fleeting nature of memory and emotion while it points to a certain vulnerability. It is this vulnerability that connected me to your dream experience.

I can easily relate to the raw honesty in lines like "I felt so happy, / More happy than I've / Ever been in life" as they capture an intense yearning.

The sensory details in the poem such as "the sharp traces of your jaw" is very vivid and they made feel immersed in those moments. Also the repetition of "I can't remember" emphasizes the idea that specifics in the dream were less important than the feelings you felt when you woke up.

The poem is excellent as it is, but just maybe, that sense of loss could be explored more with a stronger image or a real-life event; however, this is totally up to you.

Then, just maybe, if you rewrite this one or write another poem like it, you might use a stronger closing line. The current ending captures the emotional shift well; still, a slightly more concrete or even a surprising image could leave a more lasting impression on the readers. Off the top of my head, something like, "I touch the empty place on the side of the bed," or "I now see the warning in the black hands of the clock," etc.

Yet, as I said earlier, your poem is very good as it is as a poignant exploration of a momentary dream and its lingering impact.

Write on and best wishes with your work.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .