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Review #4775866
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 Commas Open in new Window. [E]
Forgive me, Joyce Kilmer. Inspired by his poem Trees.
by Kotaro Author Icon
Review of Commas  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Kotaro Author Icon,

Clever poem. "Commas" finds a way to jest with great humor with using a poet's confusion understanding punctuation, as with commas. I've often wondered myself if we could have an MLA poet handbook with an entire chapter devoted to caesura and when and where to apply, so that way we can understand a poet's intent and how it should sound read aloud. A lot of people perceive my poems differently than I intend just because of where a sentence breaks.

You immediately and directly reference Kilmer's "Trees," by intoning the poet, while I'm realizing this would be a humorous piece. I could look at description lines and genres before I read, but always seem to forget. Nice use of contrast between the natural beauty and the way Kilmer writes and the one who opines their poetry remains obscure, this frustrating experience poets know all too well....especially when grappling with grammar on those lines to get it just right.

Love the exaggerated depiction using befuddlement with commas. Kilmer's poem feels melodic and calming in its appreciation of nature. Meanwhile, your poem makes commas seem like an existential struggle. Being "befuddled" by commas does sound absurd, but not to the poets and readers of such writes. I puzzle too where and how to place anything from a comma to line break or separate by dashes. Punctuation should seem straightforward, yet we poets flash our credentials to give license to free style. I like that serious poetic themes become a lighthearted, humorous response poem of sorts.

I focused on that third couplet, after not putting the right stress on the second line, until another read through. Then, I was intrigued. Personifying "lines" and "clauses," added an amusing twist, as I caught my brain considering gastronomy. Like how we might consume and savor a meal, I lingered over each grammatical element here, considering and examining its meaning. This play on words gave me a sense of your commentary on how hard it is parsing sentences, which helped intone well your depicted struggle.

I noted right away how well you mirror the structure of Kilmer’s poem, with that familiar rhythm that sounds nice and reads smooth here, too. Don't normally see a response to a famous poem that is this good, with a tongue-in-cheek commentary like that. I like that it gives a feel of the seemingly trivial frustrations of punctuation which helps further as absurdly funny.

But to what do we owe the comma? I think of a Shakespeare character now pondering upon it; perhaps, clutching a quill like a skull. "Alas, poor comma, for I did not know it well." *Laugh* Yeah, I have to say I'm a fan of this poem. Nice!

Happy Account Anniversary, Today!

Brian
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Account Anniversary Reviewer
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Sorry, I struggled with my sentences; too much commotion going on around me and other limiting factors. *Cool*

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