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 Review #4776031 |
 | The Meadow  [ASR] free association  |
| (4.0)    HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews"  Celebrating your writing this month with a review. Happy Account Anniversary Mindcrime ,I understand this poem as a noted "free association" attempt and find images linked to questions with suggestions of a romance that either failed or never was because of lies. The line about truth I relate to because it is one of the most elusive concepts and often linked to promise. This narrative seems scattered and close approaching the proximity of the subject it wishes to come in contact with. In the end, a flailing soliloquy to the wind. I feel even with many errant arrows, one is bound to strike. This is true of your poem. It resonates with me on several levels and loses me where it's obtuse or gets too deep and off track of subject. A central subject, theme, motif or metaphor can blend these thoughts. I think it's great to experiment with free association, because it's like digging for gold. Eventually, you'll find some gems. I felt the following passage was centrally operative: "And how come at night, It seems only right, when your lover lies to you, and holds you tight." This is where free association gets you, to an illuminating moment. The speaker questions the former lover or one that could have been intended why you won't be with me and lay with someone you know is lying to you. It basically asks, why are people so screwed up that they don't choose right. It's apparent the speaker feels an authority on this subject, and plaintiff, who asks these questions in more of a convicting manner. But, since it feels like self-monologue, it's the things we think but won't say that help us get at that missing truth. It's the poem we attempt to write to get our feelings down, in hopes something persuasive will present as argument. This is not the lover's approach, however. This poem comes around the long way toward exposition in an attempt to find meaning. And if there would have been editing or further thought on this, you could hang that central narrative to the wall and draw all the associations to it, using images that depict, scenes that arrive, information about the players in this poem. I feel a lot of lumber is ready and piled on the ground, foundation layed. Just needs construction to put it all together. It was a pleasure to consider this poem in acknowledgment of you anniversary here at Writing.Com this month. Brian WDC Account Anniversary and Angel Army Reviewer    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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