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Review #4776431

Viewing a review of:

Invisible

[ASR]
A conversation between a man and his mirror.
by StephBee

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4776431

Review of Invisible

Review by JACE

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

An Angel Army Review

Hi StephBee

.

I'm JACE

, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Invisible "

.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

Overall Impression. Good morning, Miss Steph. I found your item on the site's Read & Review feature, which I'm sure you know displays random items for review from members who are online at that moment.

You've written a dialogue of a monologue (hmmm, that raises a question--is it really a monologue if only one person is speaking to and answering himself?). Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this story.

I wonder how many folks do actually "do the deed" when they believe they are not being seen, especially in the car. I suspect that percentage is well above 50%. At the risk of being labeled, it's true--sometimes a tissue doesn't cut it.

I especially liked your use of regular and italics to distinguish who is 'speaking'. And how many of us feel we're invisible to the world in general. Makes you think.

You wrote this almost ten years ago. You didn't state for which contest this was written, but I hope you fared well with it.

Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

Punctuating dialogue is always difficult. Well, it seems to be with much of the dialogue I read. Yours was perfect. I found no issues. In fact, my only complaint (and it's a personal issue) is the font size is too small for my poor aging eyes.