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 Review #4776670 |
 |  | 24 Syllable Poems  [ASR] Short poems written for Karen's 24 syllable poetry contest or Shaye's Daily Poem Contest  |
| (4.5)| Dear Christopher Roy Denton ,I caught a look at your poetry in your portfolio a month or so back and stored this in my review tool and came upon it again today. It seems to be double titled, and something I've been known to do. Your offering of 24 syllables here focuses on that main title, "Chrysalis" and wondered if "Faith" should have been worked in. Because faith can be a loaded word with everything from 'have patience' to a belief in religion and what it offers. You've offered a reader words expressing a process of human life that would compare metaphorically to that of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. The correlation of this to leaving earth and become one in the afterlife is something I've witnessed before. Here, what you offered, is a quick take and direct approach to the reader with this metaphor. The notion that life is short feels suggested and relative in terms to how it is lived and/or looked upon with a "sojourn" through life. Perhaps, narrative is the sage advising one to look upon life as a journey to prepare for the afterlife. This notion that regardless of how one chooses to live life (perhaps with faith to trust), ones experiences become part of that transformation to something infinitely lasting. This is boiled to single note, as short and to the point with little that echoes anything more. Just about tying this offered image as a spiritual experience. It does not describe outcome as either good or bad, to be feared or to look forward toward. But, by omission, it can be assumed by the reader this is like a promise, one similar to that of joining with Heaven (where you must be a believer and choose God), as many have practiced and understand. I consider this poem to go beyond religion and suggest this to be the actual process of life, and not because of service to a higher power, or having been well lived. It's something that is as natural as being a caterpillar in life and becoming that beautiful fluttering creature forever after. It's a poem that delivers a calm and direct approach that feels sage, perhaps as a promise of a message directed toward the reader. I think it is a concept that could be furthered beyond this brief space of 24 syllables. Maybe, approach it with several 24 syllable efforts, build and connect this concept process with metaphors, images and give even more sensory feel, show a reader this transformation from origin to ultimate outcome. I would be intrigued by a series of brief poems strung together like verses to illuminate the poet's vision. I enjoyed considering this short work for feedback Sincerely, Brian WDC Angel Army Reviewer  Chrysalis ▼  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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