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 Review #4776832 |
 | walk  [13+] it just came to me  |
| (3.5)    HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews"  Celebrating your writing this month with a review. Happy Account Anniversary Tamzin Morton ,I happened upon this brief work while searching WDC Anniversaries to lend a review in celebration of 22 years here? Wow. Your description only states, “this just came to me,” as an item-described article, with Arts, Inspirational and Political as genres. Indeed, a genre soup of many flavors. I see this more as Inspirational, Emotional and something like Psychological. I will treat this as a poem in my response. First things first, for any who don’t know, this poetic technique you apply is anaphora, with a title driven poem. The term anaphora refers to the technique in which successive phrases or lines begin with the same word or words, often resembling a litany. The repetition can be simple as your word 'walk'. Many poets employ anaphora like you, at the start of a sentence. The device makes for memorable poems, and auditorily pleasing. In just one driving word, it's like coming back to the beginning of a point, as if listing. It can drive home a point with that single thought that emphasizes words to make the receiver pay attention. It really does well to drive your points home. I certainly can see a litany within the lines here that seem like condemnation. And, if you do this, being predictive, it speaks to me like a warning from an experienced, with a sage voice. From the outset, "Walk the path you make for it will lead you to hate" is a strong statement. Now, I had to read it two different ways. It's not suggesting, walk this walk, but foretelling for this someone who does or will hate in some approach to life. The reader should become aware that is directed to a specific person, as we sideline sit and watch the narrative play out. Upcoming, experience in the following, "Walk till you see no happiness in the world/Walk from life and it woes that bind you." Feels like the speaker is a bit empathetic, this 'walk' which I translate to 'path in life', knowing unhappiness and woe await. I feel at this point it could be directed toward a growing teen or young adult, with how most behave in these years: obstinate, rebellious. The remaining lines contribute, but also cause wonder to confusion. "Walk till your feet bleed and your legs can go no more Walk till you are nothing And be happy you won’t see the war" This feels predictive at this point, with the course they take and likely won't give up, a slow march to 'nothing'. Therein, I guess it's personal, these messages, but a reader could divine from their own experiences, loosely. I found myself especially wondering how 'war' factors and the type that can be assumed (Political genre), or a war of something for this person with nothing from a path of life. Not sure. Could use some clarification. Found a few mishaps with spelling: missing an 's' in "it(s) woes..." Both references to 'till' are 'til' which is a contraction from until, could even be 'til, but notice most poets stopped applying the apostrophe. I get a great sense of voice and raw emotion undefined. It has some imagery, but doesn't illuminate so much through showing, but these directed phrases. It's raw and could use refining to fully connect a reader. It was a pleasure to consider your writing for your 22nd year on WDC. Brian WDC Account Anniversary and Angel Army Reviewer   How does one write a short review? I can't do it.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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