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 Review #4777073 |
Impromptu  [E] Poem resembling an improvisation  |
| (4.5)| An Angel Army Review Hi WakeUpAndLive . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Impromptu" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. And we come to the end of my mini-raid. This is the 3rd of three reviews. I thought I'd take a look at your poetry. You have quite a number of selections; but this one caught my eye.I like Improv in the theater, and though I'm not very good at it, I'm impressed by those who are. I wondered what it would be like in a poem. You cover a bit of time in your offering as you observe that which goes on about you. From a sweltering day to the evening with a light rain. Watching above you as swooping birds change to stars and the dawn of another day. I must admit I'm not sure I caught your reference to improvisation. Improvisation signifies something done without preparation. I suspect I'm reading too much into your poem. That said, I did enjoy your thoughts and words at face value. Tying your first and third stanzas together with the same first line helped with continuity. It's almost lyrical to me. I had to remember your background. My first thought was how can one sweat in 31 degrees. It quickly dawned on me you were using Celsius. That temperature with a high humidity could easily feel like 100 degrees Fahrenheit. You might include a note on that to forego any misunderstanding. You indicate this offering was for a contest. You don't say how you fared, but I hope you did well.  My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/21/2024 @ 10:45am EDT