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 Review #4778554 |
 | The Right Path  [E] Flash Fiction  |
| (4.5)| An Angel Army Review Hi Jacky . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Right Path" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. Good evening. I found your humble offering on the site's Read & Review feature. Since I love a good comedy story, I couldn't pass up your item.You start off this piece with a simple, quick question. How appropriate for a flash fiction story. I definitely wondered where I was heading. You hit a special spot with me as I too was 'taught' to make my bed each morning. But, having one of two bedrooms on the third floor of a big New England house, Mom seldom climbed the stairs to check. She had this way, though, of making me accountable ... so I made my bed with few exceptions. I loved your humorous twist with the pillow. How unlucky that her mom was coming by that very morning. How's that saying go: Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely. But what good is it to be on one's own without exercising some absolute power? You go, Sandy. You have the power.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. I only had one issue technically. Your closing sentence would be stronger as two separate sentences. I can’t decide now if she will be more upset if I lie and tell her I had a hot date last night. Or the truth, that I’ve decided not to make my bed anymore ….  My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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