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Given: Oct 21, 2024 at 7:28pm
Length: 1,004 Characters |
999 w/o WritingML
Hi Scribbleeba,
This is a wonderful piece. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the piece is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read immediately to find out more. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written about a day you started rather slowly with little enthusiasm. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a person. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:
1)I tried to push myself out of my blanket but-There should be a comma after "blanket".
You use an emotional style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.
You responded to this review 10/23/2024 @ 12:38pm EDT
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