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Review #4782882
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 Tips for relaxing face muscles  Open in new Window. [13+]
A story on childhood memories and games which still are beneficial face relaxers.
by vindicq Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi vindicq,

This is a wonderful piece. The title is direct and to the point. The reader knows exactly what they will be getting out of the piece. I recently had a discussion with a woman about this, exact topic and began to read immediately to get your thoughts on the subject. You launch into the piece without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the piece. They will read to the last word. You have written about how to relax facial muscles as you did as a child. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the piece tedious. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:


1)wonderfully made abd-Should read "wonderfully made, and"

2)You have neglected to either double space or indent between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

You use a formal, organized style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.

The WDC Army Angels
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