\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4782884
Review #4782884
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Orian,

This is a wonderful preface. The preface opens with an explanation of how these books will be written. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the preface and the books themselves. They will read on to find out more. This is a fantastic opening hook. The detail puts the reader all the way into the preface. The reader gets a good introduction to the main characters and plot of these novels. There is no dialogue but it is not needed here. The preface is well paced. It moves fast enough to keep all the reader's attention, yet it moves slowly enough to allow the reader to easily follow what is going on in the preface. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:


1)How our teachers and the home town can look on well there are so many victims. Made us question if any of them really felt any compassion.-Possible rewrite "How could our teachers and the home town could look on while there were so many victim? It made us question if any of them really felt any compassion."

The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. Great job.

Angel Army Signature 6
   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 10/28/2024 @ 7:59pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4782884