Hi BPacheco,

This is a wonderful essay. The title is enigmatic and attention grabbing. It tells the reader very little about what the essay is actually about. They are intrigued and will begin to read immediately to find out more. You launch into the essay without introduction or preamble. This takes all the reader's attention and focuses it completely on the topic and the essay. They will read to the last word. You have written about a canoe ride that nearly became your first and last. The reader is delighted with the look they get at you as a person as well as a writer. The length is perfect. You completely develop your topic without belaboring the issue and making the essay tedious. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)I hear it, loud and clear, in my head. The crack. I know, "I broke my leg" I tell him. He looks at me and I say, "I just heard it, I know." "Ok," he says. The game has changed.-This paragraph needs to be broken into two to account for two characters' dialogue.

You use an emotional style that is very appealing to the reader. Great job.