Hi AntiCaricature,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of anxiety. It grabs all the reader's attention an makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering what Ron and Hermione are doing to the creature in the woods. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about two young people who must stop a creature from being annoyance to the people that live around it. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)Gently, Hermione chiseled out the rotten molar from the back of the Werewolf pup's mouth.
Thankfully the saw wasn't necessary to remove the tooth, and after the cavity had been cleaned and a numbing spell had been cast, they both looked down happily. The pup was slowly opening her eyes and her tongue was investigating the small hole in her gum.-These are two separate paragraphs and need to be double spaced.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in jus a few words. Great job.