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 Review #4784629 |
 | The Poet's Challenge  [E] a challenge to just write  |
| (4.5)| Hello, JMariah, Here is a review for your "The Poet's Challenge" . You always have the last say on your work, and you are under no obligation to follow my suggestions.Comments and Observations: Anything about the writing process and I'm mush. I loved it the way you captured the emotional depth and your determination for writing poetry. I always thought poets to be warriors and dreamers at the same time, and I think you are a good example for that thought. In other words, you have some beautiful lines here and they are heartfelt. The flow of the poem is rhythmic and lyrical and the images are striking, such as, “Moonbeams seek to stir emotions; / Stardust twinkles in the eyes.” Romantic, I must say. Also, the use of personification with your making your words and art sound so desperate, such as " Memories beg to be recorded; // Thoughts are straining to take flight" This increases the emotional intensity and passion. As to the structure of the poem, it has steady quatrains and a good flow, giving it an almost anthem-like quality. The rhyme scheme is ABCB, and that suggests to me a sense of order. This type of order contrasts with chaotic emotions but in a very positive way. The theme reflects your compulsion and need to write as if a challenge. I also sensed some urgency and pressure you are putting on yourself to express yourself. My one suggestion could be for you to consider smoother transitions between intense and gentle emotions. What I mean is this: As an example, the stanza beginning with “Death is lurking in the shadows” brings a dark mood. Yet, the following stanza is so much the gentler one. Maybe the first line of the following stanza could be made into a better transition, something like, "But forget the darkness of death// For true love..." You don't have to use what I suggested since you have to keep to the rhyme scheme and such, but I said what I said here only to give an example. In short, this poem speaks to me as it probably would to almost any one of us here in Writing.com. It is truly a heartfelt and relatable exploration of our calling. Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation I didn't see anything wrong in this area. Best wishes with your work.   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 11/14/2024 @ 11:28am EST