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Review #4785149
Viewing a review of:
 Robo-Dad Open in new Window. [E]
Alicia gets gifts from her sisters, but one of them is a bit different from the others.
by Azeria Storm Author Icon
Review of Robo-Dad  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I really loved this story. The characters, the scenarios, the setting, the understated way you hinted at incredibly dramatic backstory without data dumps... It kept me engaged all the way through.

I'll try to break down what I like so much about it. You have created a loveable cast of characters: bright, close-knit sisters, a mom who sides with them against the mysterious and frightening father figure, who is only spoken of and we never see "for real," and of course the robots! What a brilliant and charming concept there.

The plot here feels like the opening chapter to a much larger story, setting the stage with many different options for ways further chapters can be developed. I enjoy it the way it is, but of course I always encourage people to try and continue exciting concepts like this one and see where else they can go with them. In fact, it would make a great movie.

One thing I had trouble with is how many different characters were introduced rather quickly. I have a tendency to read very fast because my time online is limited, and the names of all the sisters were bouncing around in my head like marbles. I know this is an old-fashioned and outdated technique, but you could maybe set up a quick cast of characters at the beginning with a couple words about each of them so we can keep them straight.
A dropnote click me! ▼ would be a handy way to do this, so people can check it if they like or ignore it if they don't think they need it.
But it's probably more of an issue with my comprehension than with your story, because you did a great job of showing us each sister through Ria's explaining the long talks she had with her robots as she built them. (A clever way to train robots, indeed! Engage them in conversation and share all the personal details about the people you're designing them for in a warm and loving way. Those are some well-trained bots. I'd love to have one of my own *Laugh*) Anyway, I probably needed to slow down and take my time visualizing the characters better.

Worldbuilding thoughts for your consideration: how do the robots run? Are they solar powered? Do they have to recharge overnight? What happens when their batteries run low? What about that father? Does he work for a kingdom? Is the government involved? I noticed the girls are living in a mansion. Is the main character crippled in some way? I noticed the others seem to carry her. Is that why she's more sheltered than the others?

I didn't see any basic stuff to correct here, and your concept is admirable. Have you got a larger theme in sight? Perhaps dealing with the question of how human can a robot be? Maybe somewhere down the line, the Robo-Dad and the real father switch places and we realize humans have the opportunity to change their hearts and mend their ways, but robots have to be reprogrammed. Or I think I would prefer having the Robo-Dad remain a loyal and steadfast protector.

This is an excellent tale, and I can see a lot of potential for further development.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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