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Review #4785165
Viewing a review of:
 The Painting Open in new Window. [ASR]
A story about a possibly haunted painting
by queenofthedrunkendwarves Author Icon
Review of The Painting  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi queenofthedrunkendwarves,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is filled with impatience and fear. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the painting that the young man has bought is cursed, haunted or something like that. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a young man who buys a painting that makes him uneasy. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across a couple of structural issues that need your attention:

1)"well, you always did have a-"well" should begin with a capital letter.

2)In a few places you have neglected to double space between paragraphs. You should remember to consistently do this to keep your writing clear for your reader.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/14/2024 @ 12:31am EST
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4785165