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Review #4785840
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First Grade Open in new Window. [E]
This is chapter #8 of The Quest for Home, my NaNoWriMo novel for November, 2017.
by Jay O'Toole Author Icon
Review of First Grade  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Greetings, Jay, and what a wonderful surprise!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button, which doesn’t usually give me chapters. I’m delighted to read your children’s fantasy with a Christian orientation; I enjoy reading and writing stories for (and about) kids, and I feel like a child at heart myself. The choice of animals to carry the theme is even more appealing and a joy to read.

I didn’t see too much I would offer to advise here; perhaps a second look at use of dialogue tags might be good. Internal thoughts are usually shown with italics rather than in quotes and using a tag, especially to say “I wonder,” he wondered…

Congrats on doing NaNo in 2017. It’s an amazing challenge, keeping the brain sharp and giving one something to map out their month. I wouldn’t mind reading the rest of this if I ever get a chance; your writing style is creative and deeply sympathetic to your characters. The theme of sharing Jesus at a camp meeting was a fun surprise, and I liked how well you described the eye doctor visit, alleviating any potential fears a child might have and encouraging them to engage and learn.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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