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 Review #4786260 |
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| (4.5)   HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   Greetings, Nada Philippe (a.k.a: R.H.N)! I am reviewing this because I am part of the WdC Anniversary Account Review Team and today you have been here for fifteen years!  First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. The Positives/What I Liked This fun little sequence of events told the story of Tony, who worked at the pastry shop in the summer months. His taste buds and smell, finally got him in a predicament in the end, after he delivered the freshly baked cake to Mrs. Wellington. His kind smile, however, which always left a good impression on the customers, did not impress Mrs. Wellington when she caught him dipping his finger in the delicious chicken soup on the buffet after she'd gone upstairs to get the money for payment. Tony was fortunate she had paid him, although the money was thrown in his face after she demanded he get out of her house. This was quite a scene, and I could visualize it well. Nice work! I'm assuming “Get out of my house!” was the prompt to a contest, since you bolded it. Good job incorporating it into this little story. My favorite lines were: Tony put the cake on the buffet. He saw the delicious food that Ms Wellington prepared. It was full of different dishes, chicken, meat, fish, and salads. Tony couldn’t resist the smell. The reader can assume, at this point, that Tony's taste buds and smell, won't be able to withstand the temptation! Suggestions/Comments to ConsiderParagraph 3: On his way to Mrs. Wellington, He could smell  On his way to Mrs. Wellington, he could smell Uncap the H in he.Paragraph 4: our money.” Mrs. Wellington said our money,” Mrs. Wellington said Change the period to a comma.  My only other suggestion is to fill in your genre catagories. Right now you have Contest Entry and Other. Now that the contest is over, you might consider updating the genres. Perhaps Comedy and Food would be two to consider. Final ThoughtsI enjoyed this very much! Your words flow nicely and it was easy to visualize. You are obviously a talented writer. Again, Happy WdC Account Anniversary! I hope you have many more.  A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 11/20/2024 @ 9:52am EST