%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4786784 |
 | A Dangerous Gift  [13+] What do you do when you are a Fire Bearer?  |
| (4.0)| Good morning, Amethyst Snow Angel and I hope it finds you writing. I plucked this gem off the Please Review page, and having reviewed you before, I thought I'd check in and see whether you could maintain the quality production. Let's find out, shall we?WHY THIS STORY? The title and subtitle are attractive, as is the Horror tag; I'm a big fan of that stuff. Plus, to a large extent, name recognition. Having reviewed you before, I anticipated a good ride, and you definitely delivered. THE GOOD STUFF: The brilliant theme of a single family member carrying a great power that is also a great curse is quite compelling. There's a similarity to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but this isn't a random assignment. It weaves its way through one family like a lone scarlet thread in an otherwise drab tapestry. Philip's efforts to control and utilize a power that is beyond most humans makes for compelling reading. This is a great theme. THINGS THAT MADE ME GO "HMMM:" I go back to that old saw about absolute power corrupting absolutely. How did no one in this long line try to "take over the world" as Philip fantasized, or at least become a bank robber? That might create some issues in the diary to contend with. The other thing here is Philip's maturity. He's eleven in the opening scene, yet he replies to Lucien's guidance in phrases well above his years. I believe the story would be improved by making his dialogue appropriate to a twelve-year-old, or even better, making the Age of Ascension 15 or 18. The story could stand as it is with him in middle or high school, and he would have a bit more maturity concerning its use. It must be a pretty capricious god that would give a power like that to a twelve-year-old, knowing the typical level of maturity and the ability to keep a secret that is profound beyond measure. THE BOTTOM LINE: I have to go with four stars here. The maturity issue pulls me out of the narrative to try to work out the author's reasons for the choices. This is your story, and if this is the way you want to tell it, that's your choice. This is my opinion: Philip should be older when he receives the power. Even a couple of years would give him the experience that he needs to handle it in the way you've described. Having had some experience as a twelve-year-old boy, I'm pretty sure I would have fried anybody who looked at me funny. But that's what I believe; what I believe plus ten bucks will get you a frap at Starbuck's. You've delivered a wonderful theme here. Whether you decide to polish or not is up to you. I think it could be improved, but what do your other readers think? If you're getting rave reviews, then by all means, bask in the glory and don't give it a second thought. You remain a most excellent writer, whatever you decide here. Keep turning out these spine-chilling page-turners, and you'll have a most enjoyable journey! Stay inspired, Taylor...   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 11/23/2024 @ 12:18pm EST