%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4787355 |
 | Monday or Friday?  [ASR] Realizing something...  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: This was a very uplifting story despite the narrator having quite a bleak outlook at times. She turned it around though and by the end, the readers believed that she would be able to do what she promised herself, breaking the cycle. She also forgave her mother, or rather, realised that the way she perceived what her mother used to say to her wasn’t how she had meant it. I struggled a little with that part because the way her mother spoke to her made my blood boil. It was only later when I realised she wasn’t necessarily a reliable narrator and every comment was tainted by her expecting an attack of some kind . Perhaps her mother’s voice she heard in her head wasn’t even real and she just thought that’s what her mother would have said to her because she assumed the worst. There were some great insights in this tale. I particularly liked the one where she thought about never knowing what to do with her life and commented, Geez, wasn’t living enough? It should be, and it isn’t up to anyone else to tell us that there should be more - but then, maybe the mother never said that.  Suggestions: I would suggest either using paragraph breaks or indent the first line of each new paragraph. As it is, there aren’t any breaks which makes the text quite difficult to read. I can't seem to recall? This seems to be a statement, not a question, so there should be a period instead of a question mark at the end. It would also look better as there are a few questions in that paragraph and making this a statement would break it up a little. allowing this groundhog day take over I think there is a word missing, “day to take over”. friends to hang out on a Friday night Again, there might be a word missing, “hang out with”. If I remember when that day is? Again, this is a statement, not a question.  Final Thoughts: I thought this was a very good tale of someone trying to understand where their life had gone wrong, in what way it had gone wrong, and how to fix it. I liked how this tale was written, as a first-person narrative - it made the character relatable and read almost like a personal account. The few lines of ‘dialogue’ with the mother, either in the narrator’s head or via email, were very effective to show her self doubts. I enjoyed the read.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 11/27/2024 @ 10:44am EST