Hello, Wolfius, aka shelleyh!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "What It Means to Be a Black Belt" essay every time I read it, including today.

Your writing kept me engaged and I read all the way through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I read this "What It Means to Be a Black Belt" essay of yours sometime in the past and enjoyed it, but didn't have time to review it right then, so I flagged it for an anniversary review (meaning I saved the link to it in a special "November" file. ). I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

I enjoyed re-reading this essay of yours today. I remember the first time that I read it, thinking it was very nice to have someone explain what Bruce Lee meant by being like water. I thought it meant being flexible and going with the flow of the situation. It was nice to learn that it meant even more than that.

I suspect that most Bruce Lee fans would greatly enjoy this "What It Means to Be a Black Belt" essay of yours. It holds life lessons for almost everyone too, I suspect. Most of us could do with being more humble, self disciplined, and becoming better role models.

My favorite line was the Bruce Lee quote, but then I am a fan of his so naturally this would be appealing to me.

I thought you did a great job with the essay form, stating a premise, providing evidence for that premise, and then wrapping it up nicely in the concluding paragraph.

I liked that you emphasized that it isn't easy, but it is worthwhile to attain the characteristics you promoted in this "What It Means to Be a Black Belt" essay.

I thought the reference, educational, and sports genres you selected were appropriate for this "What It Means to Be a Black Belt" essay of yours.



IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, I have two little suggestions to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

In this sentence, I would recommend changing the "our to "your" so both parts of the sentence are in agreement. Right now it looks like this: "To be water means that you are able to adapt to our surroundings and challenges."
If you made the change I suggest, it would change to this: "To be water means that you are able to adapt to your surroundings and challenges."

In this sentence, I found the "living up to" part to feel awkward. Right now it looks like this: "The given title of a black belt means nothing if the standards aren’t living up to."
I am not sure of the exact right solution, but perhaps "lived" up to or "being lived up to" would work better. Probably the second one as the rest of the sentence is in current tense. So if you made that change, the sentence would then look like this: "The given title of a black belt means nothing if the standards aren’t being lived up to."

In both cases, your meaning is clear. These suggestions are just to make the grammar more correct.

As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:
I enjoyed reading your "What It Means to Be a Black Belt" essay again today and liked your attitude so much that I fanned you here.

Thank you for sharing your time, knowledge, heart, experience, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May you indeed be like water.


May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler










Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .