Hi Ladybug,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is full of anticipation and excitement. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if Dawn will be able to summon a spirit Elf when she gets to school. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a little girl who is learning how to wield magic and has to summon a spirit Elf for class. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)“yes that’s right keep going child”-"yes" should begin with a capital letter.

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.