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Review #4789099
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Turkey, Anyone? Open in new Window. [E]
Hubby cooks the Thanksgiving turkey.
by Espero Author Icon
Review of Turkey, Anyone?  Open in new Window.
Review by SantaBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Hank wants to fry a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, but Amy suspects he's not up for the task.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the characterization. Hank was an easy going guy and Amy decided not to sweat over the small stuff.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue drives the narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately. The dialogue does a good job to conveying the characterization.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

The best: "Hank and Bill in a flurry of activity, flames leaping out of the fryer. Precious beer was being poured onto the now smoldering, blackened turkey." - great visual here. I can see two guys, totally flummoxed, trying to put out the fire.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: kitchen & garage

This is something that was clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Hank and Amy

Amy knows precisely what is going to happen if Hank tries to cook a turkey and she ends up being right.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. Amy saved thanksgiving with some creative alternatives. A warmhearted story that will make one smile. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

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