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 Review #4789102 |
 |  | Thanksgiving  [E] One thanksgiving at one home.  |
| (4.0)  My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORYIt's a wild Thanksgiving when family members can't manage their boundaries.  WHAT I LIKEDThat's some crazy Thanksgiving. I appreciated the ending by the time I was done!  POV NARRATION/TENSEThis is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUEThe dialogue accents the narration. DESCRIPTIONSThe best: Sissy started to give chase, and her hind legs landed in the gravy and cranberry sauce." Not only can I picture the scene, but I can see everyone at the table looking mortified. SETTINGTIME: modern day PLACE: kitchen This is something that was clarified for the reader. CHARACTERSIf anything, the pets steal the show! MECHANICSI did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I might check the indentation for paragraph alignment. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONSThe opening engages the reader. Our narrator tells a funny story with the comedic beats in all the right places. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest! An Angel Army Review
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You responded to this review 12/07/2024 @ 7:47pm EST