Hi Rinsoxy,

This is a wonderful story. The tone is intense. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if anything will come of Evie and Brenda's relationship. They will read to the last word to find out. The story is about a girl who finds a woman she is interested in in a world transformed by some sort if radiation. The story is narrative as opposed to conflict based. This is rare in literature and very interesting. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. I did come across one structural issue that needs your attention:

1)The woman was facing away from her and-There should be a comma after "her".

The story is consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.