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Review #4792222
Viewing a review of:
 "Box" Open in new Window. [13+]
When meaning is a false promise and reality is monotone, how does one go on?
by F Birds Author Icon
Review of "Box"  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Well, this is heavy. I see you take great care to spell “grey” with an E, which I appreciate.

I am now seeing grey myself, sitting in a fog which has lasted unusually long this morning. Your prose has a moody, mysterious feel, telling little about how this situation arose and what’s actually going on. We experience it solely through the experience of this lone figure trudging through the grey nothingness towards some kind of an end.

It feels like a “higher level” piece of writing, like the kind of thing I would have puzzled over and pushed aside in my literature classes. Maybe I’m thinking of the Donald Barthelme story Game, something vaguely depressing yet also intriguing and… well, yours is a dead end, really. A bleak and hopeless cessation of existence.

Which is kind of how I’ve been feeling about life lately, from a philosophical perspective. I mean, I’m not exactly depressed, but sometimes I step back and marvel at the futility of life. Like how the new Jelly Roll song goes “I know I’m not ok, but it’s all gonna be alright…” and I’m like “bro, how do you figure that?” Like they give us this wish-washy “just believe it’ll all be okay” but they don’t really have a leg to stand on because their worldview automatically excludes any possibility of real “hope” and they’re just telling us that so we don’t all go insane and jump off the nearest bridge…

Ok, I apologize for the emotional dump. I guess I've had that bottled up for a while and your item resonated with me. Which is a good thing. You've written a powerful metaphor on how life sometimes feels, cloaked in surrealist science fiction.

By way of improvement, I would suggest you increase the font size and style using the handy row of tiles above the text entry box. I like Size 4 Verdana for nearly everything *Laugh* My friend likes to recommend everyone add cover art to their items as well, but I think there's a restriction on what level of membership can add images. An image will help your item pop out from the rest.

Perhaps breaking it down into smaller paragraphs will help make it a little easier to plow through, because there isn't much action and we might get sleepy being plunged into that land of dreary grey nothing *Wink*

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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