Hi Odessa,

This is a fantastic story. The tone is formal. It suits the story and plot very well. The reader is wondering what is in the package for the president. They will read to the last word to find out. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.