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Review #4796263
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Scarlet Open in new Window. [13+]
In the subdued darkness, she is the stronger one.
by iKïyå§ama Author Icon
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#4796263
Review of Scarlet  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Greetings, Kiya!

Well, I know you like to write about and shed light on serious subjects, so I don't often browse your port because it can be upsetting for a softie like me. But since you offered, I figured I'd go ahead and take the risk for a friend.

You've written something tense and gripping, and in fact it echoes a story of yours from many years back, something about a payphone. A young lady trapped in a sordid life loses herself in make-believe, leaving us asking if the final moment of revenge and escape actually happened or if it was another dream crafted to get Ada through the horrors of another day.

The writing style is vivid, bringing to light all the visceral details of abuse and neglect. You incorporated all the prompts well, using the three words, the character specification and the genre.

I'm a little puzzled about your formatting: on mobile, the text spills across or breaks the borders of the page, causing me to rotate the screen and slide the page from side to side so as not to miss a word. How'd that happen? You know my favorite font: Size 4 Verdana.

Suggestions: *Pthb* I hate having to make any most of the time, but Jeremy requires at least one for his review program. So... You're already a strong writer, and I admire your ability to take us places we don't really want to go and show us the all-too-real miseries of life which we might otherwise ignore. Your vocabulary is excellent: I've even learned a word, "bibulous." It foreshadows what we later see.

My only suggestion is to be true to yourself and never wonder if you should change your style or water down things because we don't stop by often. This is Quill worthy material... (Is it ok to say that? *Shock2* )

Take care, thanks for sharing, best of luck at the contest (which I've entered as well...) and keep writing *HeartT*


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