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 Review #4796493 |
 | Kayda Saves the Day  [E] A fairytale about an unlikely heroine and a village that misjudges her.  |
| (5.0)  This is a delightful tale of a dragon and her interaction with the inhabitants of a nearby village. Aimed at a young audience, it is too long to be suitable for very young children, but from about five onwards I think it would be greatly appreciated. When I first looked at this piece, it seemed very long, perhaps too long to review. But then I made the mistake of starting to read out of curiosity. And, of course, I was hooked. It's quite a fascinating story of a dragon's adventures told in simple yet vivid language. You write very well, without grammatical errors or typos, and the text flows smoothly and naturally. I would guess that the expected audience would be enthralled. The one thing I found a bit odd is the use of the present tense to tell the story. It works well at first but becomes a bit wearing after a time. The effect of such writing is to give the narrative more immediacy but, when extended for too long, it can cause the attention to tire and eventually wander at being prodded so constantly. Safest would be to use the past tense (I know, how pedestrian, but it works - that's why it's so common). But it's up to you. This may be a matter of personal taste, after all. You could also consider breaking it up into more easily digestible episodes. This would enable you to reach a younger audience as each episode could become a bedtime story. Also, I'd suggest cutting down the number of Returns between each chapter. The huge gaps are disconcerting online when they have to be scrolled through. Try instead showing the break with less of a gap and a symbol inserted in the centre. I use a text form like --ooOoo-- but anything will do. So my points are more about presentation than anything else. The story itself is charming and very well aimed at a distinct clientele. I must congratulate you on the quality of your writing.   Beholden Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023 and 2024    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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