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Review #4796858
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Going Sour Open in new Window. [E]
Events came to an acerbic head early the morning of her Presentation Day
by iguanamountain Author Icon
Review of Going Sour  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

This is a lovely satire mocking the eccentricity, privilege, and dysfunction of the wealthy Haste family. The characters are beautifully over-the-top and their rituals as well as the events in this story are bordering on absurd. The family is obsessed with lemons, so much so that the townspeople are quite fed up with it. I was wondering why they chose a carrot glaze for the cake and not lemon, but it made sense when you revealed that this was to keep the townspeople happy. Unfortunately, both the cook and her rescuer got stuck in the mess that resulted from the glaze boiling over, and consequently the girl didn’t get the all-important shoes. It wasn’t the worst thing that could happen, at least for the girl who took the opportunity to rebel against the strange rituals by simply going barefoot. The girl did indeed have promise, and her act of planting carrots among the lemon trees suggest that there might be hope for this strange family after all, at least with the younger generation.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written and very polished, and I only noticed two small typos:

“Let’s get it over with” she said
You missed the comma after ‘with’.

they had become quite enamored of one another other
I don’t think ‘other’ was supposed to be there.

I would also suggest choosing a third category instead of ‘Other’, for example ‘Satire’. ‘Other’ isn’t very descriptive and something more specific might attract more readers to your story.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I found this tale very entertaining. I don’t know if you had something specific in mind when you wrote this or if it was general social commentary, but I was chuckling a few times, for example at the disastrous kitchen mishap. The pairing of Madame Toutou and Old Moss, who find love in the middle of a sticky disaster, was hilarious and served as a contrast to the seriousness of the Haste household. I enjoyed the read!




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