Hello, JCR1987, aka jason_rein!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "The Mess Never Ends!" monologue this evening.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end.



MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary day and month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

I felt like reading your monologue was like talking with a friend who wanted to share a great idea. You brought up a universal thing we all have to deal with and then related it to life as a whole in a seamless way. Then you shared a good lesson. One I wish I'd learned as a kid. One I wish everyone understood. It definitely is better to just efficiently do what we we need to do without all the complaining. I challenge you to take it further and learn to get some satisfaction from the process as well. Imagine if you started to enjoy the things you used to hate? Or at least got so efficient that you were beating your old records? You could celebrate and have fun while you got it all done.

I loved your conclusion. If you hadn't already been preaching to the choir with me, you'd have won me over with that. I really do prefer efficiency so doing things over, especially things that aren't my favorite, is not desirable.

I thought you did a great job with your monologue. I wondered if you'd entered it in some contest or challenge here or off-site somewhere? I don't think I've ever written a monologue without a reason? Maybe I have though. Maybe that's called journaling, haha.

I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your "The Mess Never Ends!" monologue. Though I guess a real stickler might say the ending three question marks should just be one question mark, I personally suspect they were for emphasis, and I like them as they are. They gave me an imagination of a look of incredulity on your face as I saw them.

I thought your description fit your "The Mess Never Ends!" monologue very well.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

The best thing I can suggest is for you to add two more genres to your "The Mess Never Ends!" monologue. Right now you have writing. You could also add a couple more, like "personal," "experience," "self-help," or "how-to." There are probably even more options. This might net you more readers in the future.

Another suggestion to maybe get you more readers is to add a thumbnail picture, if your membership level allows that. Pictures grab attention so if your item was with a bunch of others in a search results list, the picture might get someone to click on it. If you're wondering how I found your monologue, I personally found your item today in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum. Someone else had reviewed it and liked it, and the title caught my eye so I gave it a read. I enjoyed it, so I decided to give you a review too.

Another thing doesn't really have to do with the writing, but it would be nice to have a line count at the bottom. Most contests require it, and a lot of readers like to see it.

As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:

I enjoyed reading your "The Mess Never Ends!" monologue, and empathized and agreed with your sentiments that you expressed in it.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, knowledge, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary day and month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during this New Year, your anniversary month, and always!

PWheeler










Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




The B.E.A.R. Fund



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .