Hello, SunSlayer!


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

I enjoyed reading your "They're At It Again" flash fiction story this evening.

Your writing kept me riveted and I read straight through to the end, which had a cute twist that I appreciated.


MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

Happy Writing.Com Anniversary month! I hope you enjoy this review as a celebration of your time here and find the review uplifting and encouraging.

I found your "They're At It Again" flash fiction story in the "Anniversary Reviews" forum today, reviewed by someone else that I respect. I love The Daily Flash Fiction Contest, and appreciate writers who can tell a whole story in three hundred words or less, so your title and description drew me in. I clicked and read your story and enjoyed it, so I decided to give you a review as a little anniversary gift. Happiest anniversary wishes to you and best wishes on your writing future too!

Your story made me smile. Thank you for that. Poor deluded Dulfy.

I liked that you not only told a complete story with only two hundred and eighty one words, but that you also included a twist at the end and some sensory details throughout.

My favorite line was the last one because it was a great way to end the story.

I wondered what the prompt was for this edition of the contest, and whether you won. I believe the contest is still running, and encourage you to continue writing for it and entering it. It's great practice and you could have a nice collection of stories to publish in the future.

I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes (or mistakes of any kind) in your "They're At It Again" flash fiction story.

I appreciated that you included information on the challenge, even though it's one that I already love. It's always nice for me to find out what contests and challenges pieces I review were written for.

I thought the family and contest entry genres you selected for this poem were appropriate matches for it.


IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, and because of the requirements of a new reviewing challenge I joined recently, I have a few little suggestions to make your piece stronger. If you're interested in some constructive criticism, read on. But if you aren't, no worries. Just know that I enjoyed your piece and move on to the next section.

Still reading? You're brave! Yay for you!

If you wanted to cut a word out, I don't think you need "just" in this sentence:
"Dulf had a bad dream that night: Maggie just joined the party and even sang, danced and got drunk."
If you took it out, the sentence would look like this:
"Dulf had a bad dream that night: Maggie joined the party and even sang, danced and got drunk."
If you really wanted to shrink it even more, you could do something like this:
"Dulf had a nightmare that night: Maggie joined the party, sang, danced and even got drunk."

The "other" genre isn't likely to net you more future readers, as I don't think anyone searches for that. I'd recommend choosing a different genre, and really three, as we are allowed three, and people do search by genre here. Perhaps "relationship," "culture," "music," "love / romance," or "experience might be nice options to consider? There's a drop down list, as you know, because you had to use it to select other. I don't have it memorized; those are just some suggestions. The actual list will probably be more helpful.


As with any review, please take what serves you and release or ignore what doesn't.


CONCLUSION:

I enjoyed reading your "They're At It Again" flash fiction story, and was entertained by it enough to smile near the end.

Thank you for sharing your time, creativity, heart, experiences, and writing with the Writing.Com community!

Once again, happy anniversary month! I hope the year ahead is filled with blessings and joy for you!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance during your anniversary month, and always!

PWheeler










Positive Hearts
A Review from: "Positive Hearts Reviews Group" 




The B.E.A.R. Fund


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .