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Review #4808513
Viewing a review of:
 Another Day in Paradise Open in new Window. [E]
A work in progress short story about a private detective. Adding chapters as I go. Cheers!
by L.A.Saxe Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings!

I saw this on the "currently online" sidebar and thought it sounds like fun.

Well, your detective has his work cut out for him! It seems almost as though a trap was laid for him by some kind of invisible people. I don't want to give away too much for anyone else reading this, but since it's unfinished anyway...

Why does it seem like private detectives so often are portrayed as rather dumb? Especially when it's from their POV. I'm so naive, I don't know if it's a parody or dark humor or what. It doesn't give me much confidence in the hero when I'm facepalming at his antics. Just generalizing, I mean. I suppose it's inherent to the job, especially when you're looked down on by official law enforcement. Some amount of bungling is inevitable.

I'll make some basic character and plot suggestions for you to chart as you continue with this. Plots revolve around three elements: goals, stakes and obstacles. You provide tension by adjusting the force of the consequences of failure to reach the goals, raising the stakes. Characters are more well rounded when they're working against internal flaws as well as external challenges, and a story has more depth when the main character reaches a realization about themselves or the world around them.

And if this is going to be novella length, a good writing friend of mine likes to say that you're never just dealing with the wolves at the door, there's always rats in the basement! Subplots, dead ends and red herrings are always exciting.

This was a fun read, and I look forward to further chapters!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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