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Review #4810237
Viewing a review of:
 Questions from Charlie Open in new Window. [ASR]
Who thinks up this stuff? For the Cramp
by Whiskerface Author Icon
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

I can’t say I blame Charlie’s wife for throwing him out, or the narrator for trying to get away from him! Any more of his questions and I probably would have had to go feed the cat as well. To be fair, the narrator probably didn’t help herself because she invited him to ask more questions and then told them they were amazing. That’s the problem with being polite and not wanting to make him feel bad.

Poor Charlie, recently retired, was clearly looking for a hobby to occupy him. He had an active mind and came up with a bunch of nonsensical or odd questions, and since he felt they couldn’t be answered, he naturally asked people around him if they could prove him wrong. In the process, he alienated everyone, including his wife.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was well written, but I noticed a few small errors:

Ive just come back
You missed the apostrophe in “I’ve”.

“ Oh, hi Clare.
There were a few instances where you had a space between the opening speech marks and the first word.

“Keep listening until I’m done.” He’d adopted a lecturing tone. A vice is a type of wrongdoing deliberately committed by another. “
I wasn’t sure which parts of this sentence were dialogue. I assume the last sentence was, in which case you missed the opening speech marks before “A vice”.

I still want you to answer my question?
This isn’t a question in itself so it needs a period instead of a question mark at the end.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

This was a fun story with a great punchline. You used the prompts very well and weaved a very funny tale around them, and I came away feeling a little sad for Charlie, who only tried to find answers to the world’s unanswered questions. I enjoyed the read!




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