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 Review #4810354 |
Red Moon. Chapter 1.  [18+] Bithot and Ekurb are selectors who are employed to rescue humans from certain death.  |
| (4.5)| Hello Bruce. I found your Chapter for review on the Plug page. I don't normally review chapters to be honest but it didn't seem too long and the font is big enough for my dodgy eyes to read without me zooming in  . I read the first paragraph and it seemed interesting so I read on to the end of the Chapter.I like the idea of the story, being set on another planet with these "aliens" and how they "rescue" - ie abduct - earthlings. I thought this was an imaginative and intriguing idea which interested me. I like that there is lots of dialogue as I prefer novels which do not have pages and pages of description and are more fast paced. I liked the interaction between your two main alien characters and especially I liked the line - “I am missing my partner Arnia already. She is in the birth breeder complex as we speak.” - it made me wonder what is a "birth breeder complex?" Is this just their word for hospital or do they breed differently. It is I guess introducing a theme which may become clearer later on. I thought it was funny all the female characters have names beginning with the letter A. As an only negative I would say that sometimes your tenses switch between "is" and "was" sometimes in the same paragraph - I think it would be more consistent if you were writing either in present or past tense. Here is an example - Like all of his species, Bithot was hairless, slender, and had long gangly limbs. The material of his clothing, though cloth-like, is made from tough plastic This was a good opening. Although I do not usually read books on here I will favourite and maybe read the next chapter     My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/12/2025 @ 4:44am EDT