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 Review #4815050 |
Woe’s Cold Lesson  [13+] Delusion, cruelty, justice, judgment, and imprisonment for felonious offenders of the law.  |
| (4.5)| Greetings, Wren, and thank you for requesting a review. Well, this has changed a bit since I first noticed it in your port. You perhaps give it a little too much context, as now I'm reminded of everything I dislike about politics. I came surprisingly close to visiting a Tesla shop and sitting in on a protest myself a few weeks ago; I received the invite from an activist group I'm subscribed to. They promised it would be "nonviolent," but I had my suspicions. Why should we harass innocent people doing their jobs at the dealership, and frighten those trying to make an environmentally sound purchase? Does it really make a dent in Elon Musk's pockets? Sigh... Next thing I knew, my friends were gleefully talking about the snowflakes being abused in jail for burning Teslas, and I just facepalmed like "ok, whatever. Please don't tell me about it." I'm glad I never attended a protest. Your poem is perhaps more specifically about random acts of vandalism than the much-publicized burning... Either way, I'll try to get past my muddled feelings about the issue and focus on the piece. The staccato rhythm is memorable, in that you delve into darkness in a politely metaphorical way. Lacking the context of those pesky Teslas, it could be about almost any bad decision and the consequences thereof. This elusiveness of theme is better, in my humble opinion, than throwing the specifics immediately in our faces to dominate our thoughts on what you've made. In that regard, perhaps removing the socio-political context from the subtitle and top of poem and adding them instead to the bottom in a dropnote ▼ Your formatting is creative, and the structure is well crafted. I guess I don't have all that much to say about it  I'm a sensitive soul. This is an impressive piece, though, don't get me wrong  Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 05/07/2025 @ 12:13pm EDT