Hi bananaandjelly

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion.


Positives

I liked the imagery in this piece, and I thought you did a great job with the structure. The rhyme scheme was easy to follow along with, and several of the rhyming couplets you selected were really catchy and memorable. All in all, this was an engaging read.


Suggestions

There were quite a few typographical errors in the piece.

For example, A place man fear to dread should either be, "A place man fears to dread," or "A place men fear to dread."

Additionally:

To prove their ambition

Some are lost, some are dead

As the dead let their wings soar

A thorough proofread would really help take this poem to the next level.


Overall

Overall, I thought this was an interesting poem that kept my interest throughout. You're off to a great start!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author!

Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .