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Review #4815399
Viewing a review of:
 My first attempt at poetry  Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about living in the present.
by Vesper Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review. Welcome to writing.com *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

First off, I would like to congratulate you on arriving here and posting a little about yourself in your bio, along with a selection of your work. It’s always great to see fresh faces here, and you have a creative spirit that shines bright.

I can think of a few titles you might consider, but I’ll leave that up to your imagination and discretion. The title you have now makes a pretty good hook.

Formatting around here can be adjusted using the row of tiles above the text entry box. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font for the easiest and most engaging reading experience across devices. Any help you need can be found by clicking on the ? Between the script M and the smiley face. Also, "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window. is quite useful.

You don’t really have to number your verses. You’re not writing the Bible *BigSmile* “The End” is also not usually required for publication these days. And the notes at top can be brought to the bottom and placed inside a dropnote ▼

Now for your content. I love this! There is nothing “beginner” about it. You offer words of encouragement… ooh, let me say this before I forget. At the eighth line, you have a hyphen connecting two words where a comma or an emdash would do. The emdash can be inserted on WdC by typing {emdash}, like — *Smile*

Your slant rhyme is appealing and refreshing; rather than using trite, predictable rhymes that fill themselves in, you used more natural word choices which still give a rhythmic flow to the piece. It has comfortable, Hallmark simplicity and feels like something that would make a lovely gift if written up in fancy font or handwriting. You could even frame it, or just tack it up on the fridge.

Maintaining a grip on the present moment, without worrying about the future or sighing over the past, is a valuable gift we should all try to cultivate, and you have written a very pleasant reminder to do so.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/10/2025 @ 10:09am EDT
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