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Review #4816566
Viewing a review of:
 A day to remember Open in new Window. [E]
Just a simple day
by Sumojo Author Icon
Review of A day to remember  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

This is a nice, relaxing take, where not much actually happens and more is given to emotions, scenic descriptions and sensory details than to plot or character development. That's not necessarily a bad thing, as nowadays there seems to be a trend going around of writing "relaxing" stories designed more to give us "the feels" over a cup of tea than to do anything particularly literary.

I enjoyed the casual glimpse into Aussie life, from the google-able word "spruiking" to the wattle bird *Laugh*

What seemed a bit awkward was the flashing back from the opening scene in the evening, jumping away to earlier in the day with some conversations taking place there, and then jumping back into the quiet sunset stroll. It didn't fit well into a story of such brevity and simplicity.

Perhaps you can start with the rush of the crowds and the chat with friends, and then add a scene divider to send us off on a peaceful note as they stroll the now-empty park. A strictly linear timeframe would be easier to pick up on.

Otherwise, it's all good, a pleasant vignette of city life.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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