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 Review #4817963 |
 | I never wanted to admit it but -  [E] Written for the November TLC contest. Remembering past regrets.  |
| (5.0)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: You left the backstory deliberately vague in this tale. There were references to hiding, patrols and watches which hinted at a past filled with danger - a war, perhaps, or a rebellion. It was a great way to keep the readers engaged and looking for clues. The relationship between the narrator and the absent character, who had presumably died due to an error made by the narrator, was intriguing as well. You told the readers that they had very different personalities - one was a planner, the other a doer - but I wasn’t even sure if they were male or female. The ‘Beauty and the Beast’ reference was interesting because it could be interpreted as a gender reference, and until that moment, in my head the narrator has been female and the other character male, but suddenly I wasn’t sure. That’s not a criticism, on the contrary. I thought one of the story’s strengths was the ambiguity. It makes readers engage more deeply and imagine the relationship in a way that resonates personally, in the same way as the setting.  Suggestions: The story was very polished and I only noticed one small error: God, you could be so, annoying, did you know that? You don’t need the comma after “so”.  Final Thoughts: This was a very emotional story with a raw and personal narrator’s voice and a tone that balanced grief, guilt and affection. The narrator’s thoughts were quite contradictory in places, for example in this line: You made me a good person…I hate you for that. It was nicely done and added emotional depth to this tale. I thought this was a very powerful story, and I wondered if it was perhaps a letter never sent, or a monologue at a graveside. The other thing I found quite interesting was that you chose Fantasy as the only genre. I didn’t really notice any elements that are generally associated with fantasy, like supernatural or magical features, mythical creatures, that kind of thing. I wonder if by choosing that genre you meant that this is fiction rather than a true story (which it could well be, the way it was written), or if perhaps this is part of a longer fantasy tale. Either way, I found it very intriguing, and I enjoyed the read.
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You responded to this review 05/31/2025 @ 3:22am EDT