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Review #4819338
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45 Rue Héricart Open in new Window. [E]
Sometimes one needs to be aware of temptation...
by Fyn Author Icon
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#4819338
Review of 45 Rue Héricart  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

This is a clever, creative and deeply thoughtful use of the prompt image. We see temptation offered in the form of sweets, coffee, and the affections of two charming guys... Or so it seems! Out heroine shakes off the spell and continues on her way, much to our relief, as we realize just how much of a trap she narrowly avoided.

Your bold font is clear and sharp, and the free verse paints an engaging picture of what lies within those cafe walls.

Fourth line from the bottom, the word “the” repeats twice. “Dark chocolate golden eyes” is almost impossible to conceive for some reason, but it’s a memorable image. You can remove the excess WML at the bottom, since we have the image at the top. Also, you may want to throw in a cover image of some kind, just to help it stand out in case someone’s browsing for poetry items.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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