\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4823204
Review #4823204
Viewing a review of:
Path to Enduring Inner Peace Open in new Window. [E]
The best path to enduring inner peace
by Kaytings Author Icon
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Kaytings Author IconMail Icon. Thank you for entering this month's contest.

 
FORUM
Grill a Christian Open in new Window. (13+)
Will God fly with us to the stars?
#2327636 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


As the official Judge of this contest, I have the following comments to offer for "Path to Enduring Inner PeaceOpen in new Window. Congratulations on your victory in this month's contest.

*Quill*Did you answer the question?

Yes in a poetical format.

*Quill*Use of quotes, proof-texting or AI - could I hear your voice?

You have a unique style that quite distinctively addressed this month's topic.

*Quill*How consistent was your argument?

This was a very personal poem, you spoke about how trauma deprived you of peace and made it seem like a distant and elusive goal. Various techniques were tried, but by themselves did not address the heart of the matter. Instead, you learned to trust, there were choices to adopt techniques but also the faith to receive God's grace. Both trust and technique became essential to achieve peace. There was counseling and a steady unpicking of poisonous and self-sabotaging thoughts that would deprive you of peace. You looked around for human examples of inner peace, Mandela and Nhat Hanh inspired you with what they demonstrated was possible. But this was a process. Today's world offers many distractions and roadblocks to the attainment of peace. Charlatans offered easy fixes for a problem that required much more. But your journey toward inner peace continues despite all this, step by step, an accumulation of small victories, a balancing act between technique and trust, faith and a hope that a dark past cannot extinguish a bright future.

*Quill*My thoughts on the substance of what you said

Your poem reminded me of a sci-fi film I once watched called Contact, A scientist, Ellie Arroway, is sent on a journey organized by greater alien minds and gets to view spectacular celestial events that completely blew her mind. She comes back utterly overwhelmed - "they should have sent a poet," she said.

There is an enormous amount of literature about inner peace and different religions have different slants on this. But your poem summarised very well your own experience of the search for and partial achievement of inner peace.

Your account describes a personal journey rather than the objective conditions upon which a state of deep, spiritual tranquility might depend. The Christian view is that inner peace has to do with being reconciled with God through Jesus Christ. So it is not just a subjective feeling but also a profound state of well-being rooted in spiritual realities. Because Christ died for us, the sins that separate us from God can be washed away. A way has been opened up for us to be reconciled to God.

The Hebrew word Shalom can be translated as wholeness, harmony and well-being It is a holistic concept that touches every part of a believer's life. Christians know that this peace cannot be earned but rather is given. We are justified by faith, not deeds.

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
— Romans 5:1

The gift of God's Spirit, sent by Christ after his Ascension, is the guarantee of peace:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
— John 14:27

Peace is regarded as a fruit of this indwelling Spirit of God:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
— Philippians 4:6–7

There is an authenticity and emotional gravity to your poetry which is powerful. It is emotionally sincere and thematically rich. Your journey from trauma and rage to healing and spiritual resilience resonates with the souls of any who have had similar struggles. There were only a few mechanical and stylist issues, described in the section below.

My favorite lines were:

peace rose like dew on cold mornings” and “mud feeds lotus blooms


*Quill*Mechanical issues

"Peace asked for both, the steady practice of technique, / and a leap into the unseen arms of grace." . This is a direct explanation and reads like a self-help manual rather than poetry.

There was a degree of redundant repetition in the poem and in places, it could have been more concise. This is unstructured verse but sometimes the voice of the poem was uneven.

Thanks again for entering.
LightinMind Author IconMail Icon

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/01/2025 @ 11:53am EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4823204