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Review #4823298
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 Homework Disruption Open in new Window. [E]
A teen dog tries to get her homework done, but her playful human has other ideas.
by Leedeel Author Icon
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#4823298
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi Leedeel

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I liked the juxtaposition of the animal and human roles in this story. I thought it was a really clever way to subvert expectations, and you did a good job of still capturing the owner-pet relationship while inverting the roles. Nice work!


Suggestions

I would have loved to have seen a little more build-up to the payoff of the switched roles. As it is, the story just kind of lays it out like it's a commonly-understood fact, and I think there's a real opportunity here to subvert your audience's expectations with a little bit of setup and payoff. I think it would be really compelling if we're following a story of a teenage girl who is being distracted from doing her homework by her pet... and if we get a more traditional image of that in our minds first before you pull a bait-and-switch and reveal that the dog is the one doing homework once it has a chance to catch the reader off guard and surprise them.


Overall

Overall, this was a fun read and it has a lot of potential. You're off to a great start!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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